What The Buck?

By ,

So Travis Buck has yet to get a hit this season. And in 21 at-bats, he has struck out 9 times. His lone RBI came in Sunday's game against Cleveland, when he hit a sac fly to score Kurt Suzuki (the A's lost 2-1).

What's going on here? Buck hit .288 last year, which is a pretty decent average. He batted .275 in the Spring, and he's batting leadoff - which means the A's expect him to be able to get on base. So why can't he get a hit? According to Buck, he's having mechanical difficulties, and knows what he needs to do to fix the problem. But I, being the baseball expert that I am,* have decided to offer Mr. Buck a few suggestions on how he can get his first hit. Perhaps he should try one of the following:

1. Take a page from the Mark Grace handbook and cruise down to the college bars to look for a slumpbuster. For those of you who are too lazy to click on the link, that's when you get busy with a lady who's, shall we say, "athletically built."
2. Take pointers from your fellow Bay Area athletes - the Golden State Warriors. The team makes the most 3-pointers per game in the NBA, but they rank near the bottom when it comes to percentage of 3-pointers made. What does this mean? They huck up a lot of 3's and hope for the best! So Travis, perhaps if you just swing wildly at every pitch that comes your way, you'll increase your chances of getting a hit. You'll probably strike out a lot too, but that's fine. The Warriors are 15 games over .500!
3. Stop using so many hair products. The chemicals could be getting to your brain, which may be causing your problems at the plate.
4. Hit up KFC and In-N-Out and grow yourself a gut. Look at all the bigger guys who can hit home runs - Prince Fielder, David Ortiz, Miguel Cabrera (yeah - he's only got a couple of hits so far this season...But one of them is a home run!). Even Fat Albert hit .350 in the minors before a knee injury ended his career.**
5. Learn to hit the ball better.

So there you go, Travis. Hopefully, you'll get your first hit during the Toronto series...

* I am in no way a baseball expert - I just watch a lot of Sportscenter and Baseball Tonight. Travis Buck shouldn't listen to a word I say.
** As far as I know, Fat Albert did not play minor league baseball. He is a cartoon.