SFWH is going all "bleeps and bloops"

By Governor X

Lets face it. Steve Finley Was Here's current format is played out. It served us well during the first six months, but we've come to a crossroads. We could continue to bring you the same kind-of up to date coverage of the Dodgers and A's that you expect or we could "go away and dream it all up again" as Bono once said.

SFWH is not going to turn into Springsteen on my watch dear readers reader. I will not sit idly by as we turn out the same posts for years eagerly awaiting praise from the critics. No, we're going to be taking some fucking chances. For example: Don't get the title of this post? Get used to it. We aren't spoon feeding you anymore.

So what will the new format be like? Who knows. We're just going to take it as it goes. Things may get a bit too "real" for some readers, while others appreciate us taking things up a notch. This is no longer a blog. This is a living breathing work of art. Art like a Jackson Pollock drip painting.

An Open Letter to the Diamondbacks

By Governor X

Dear Diamondbacks,

Please go on a tear and win this shitty division already.

The Dodgers, for all intents and purposes, are dead, but you have thus far been unable to pull away and end our pathetic chances at a playoff berth. Every win here and there teases us with hope as we inch within a game or two of you for the division lead.

Deep down, I know better. This particular group of Dodgers players (I can't call them a "team") are not going anywhere, but when I look at the standings and see them a game or two back, my irrational fan side takes over and I have brief visions of Manny hitting homers for them in October.

This won't happen though. The Dodgers of 2008 are destined for mediocrity. If you don't shape up, we risk Colorado going on another winning streak and none of us want to see that again. We all remember how they embarassed the National League in the World Series last year.

So, I beg of you, just win 5 or 6 in a row and effectively put the Dodgers out of their misery. A sweep this weekend would be a good start.

Governor Gray Davis

The 2008 Padres are Officially Losers

By Governor X

Suffering their second sweep of the season to San Francisco (really?) on Sunday, the Padres locked down a losing record for the 25th time in team history. Its only fitting that the Giants helped secure this for them since the Friars have replaced the Giants as the laughing stalk of the NL. San Diego is currently on pace to lose 102 games. Well done.

My Favorite Olympic Moments

By ,

I've enjoyed watching the Olympics for the past 2 weeks. It has distracted me from the craptastic second half the A's are having, and it has allowed me to watch something other than whatever programming the networks roll out during the summer to fill time before the new fall season starts...I was really starting to question my sanity the day I caught myself watching "America's Got Talent."

Anyway, I thought I'd recap a few of my favorite moments from Olympic competiton - in no particular order...

1. The U.S. men's gymnastics team wins the bronze medal. Some Olympic athletes are not satisfied with silver or bronze (case in point - that wrestler dude who threw a fit when he won the bronze medal). Now, don't get me wrong, I can understand why someone would be disappointed with a 2nd or 3rd place finish if they busted their ass for 4 years with the intention of winning gold, but it's nice to watch athletes when they're genuinely thrilled with winning a medal - no matter what color it is. The U.S. men's gymnastics team lost their 2 best team members to injury, and they didn't let that distract them. They came out like a bunch of rowdy frat guys - thumping their chests and shouting "Sup America?" into the camera- gave it their all, and came away with a bronze medal that not many thought they could win. And they were stoked. I was thoroughly entertained watching this team.

2. Shawn Johnson's balance beam gold. She won a boat load of silvers, and she was very gracious about it. And then she does a kick-ass routine on the beam and finally wins her gold medal. Also, a shout out to Nastia Liukin for her Olympic success - as well as her classiness when she had to settle for silver on the uneven bars because a possibly-underage Chinese gymnast won the gold in some confusing tiebreaker. Why can't they give 2 golds if gymnasts get the same score again?

3. Usain Bolt. Call him a show-boater all you want, this guy can run. And he's pretty fun to watch.

4. The Redeem Team Redeems Themselves. They ate it at the 2002 World Championship, won the bronze in Athens, lost to Greece in the semis of the 2006 World Championship, and then came back to win gold in Beijing. LaBronze, you now have La Gold...

5. The men's 4x100 relay (swimming). When are people going to learn?? Don't talk smack until it's over. Alain Bernard talked smack, and when all was said and done, Jason Lezak swam the relay leg to end all relay legs, and the U.S. won the gold - keeping Michael Phelps on track to break Spitz's record. And while we're on the subject of talking smack, what was up with that British runner taunting the other runners in the 4x400 relay trials? I'm pretty sure they ended up not getting a medal in that race. Again, don't get cocky until it's over.

6. The U.S. men's (indoor) volleyball team wins gold. Coach Hugh McCutcheon's father-in-law was murdered the day after the opening ceremony. His mother-in-law was critically injured. A few minutes after the team won, McCutcheon walked off the court for a minute or so - probably trying to gather his emotions. I'll be honest - when I saw that, I teared up. Coach, I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy you and your team won gold.

7. Dara Torres. She's 41 years old. She has some wacky training routine where people squish her muscles. She was one one-hundredths of a second away from winning gold in the 50m free. Dara, you're inspiring. You made me believe that I could win an Olympic medal when I'm 40, too. Of course, you've been swimming for decades, and the closest I've come to swimming is doggy-paddling in the pool down the street, but whatever...You're still inspiring.

8. Michael Phelps. Do I really need to say anything about this? Kid is amazing. However, I will say one thing - there were times when I really wished Phelps would pull up his swimming pants. He may have 8 gold medals, but I still don't want to see his ass crack.

"Dude, pull these up"

Jonathan Broxton as Closer FAIL

By Governor X

Dr. Maddux needs to sit him down and teach him that a 99 mph fastball doesn't mean shit if you can't throw it for a strike...


By ,

Last night's battle of the bottom of the AL West (wow...there had to be a better way for me to say that. Oh well.) had the A's eeking out a 2-0 victory over Seattle. It turned out to be quite the pitcher's duel - mostly because both offenses are about as stale as the month-old Cheerios in my kitchen cabinet. But seriously, I shouldn't hate. A win is a win.

And by the way, Seattle announcer - our reliever's name is JOEY Devine - not Andy Devine. Sheesh.

In other A's news, they put Duke and Sean Gallagher on the 15-day DL, which means the A's have now used the DL a record 23 times during the season. They used it 22 times last season.

Here's another fun fact: As of today, the A's appear to have the lowest team batting average in the league - the Nationals are ahead of them. And the Reds.

There are no words.

Oh wait - yes there are..."More alcohol, please..."

"Good job, Bobby! You've only been on the DL once this season!"

The Record No One Cared About

By Rich Funk

Recognize the guy above?

You shouldn't. That's Bobby Thigpen, the current record holder for most saves in a season.

Francisco Rodriguez of the Anaheim Angels has 48 saves with 6 weeks to go. Not only will he most likely break Thigpen's record, he's on pace to completely shatter it.

So we ask the eternal question: If someone breaks the single-season saves record, but it happens in the toilet of Anaheim Stadium, does anyone care?

Jeff Kent is a Douchebag

By Governor X

Old news right? What has he done this time? He insulted baseball legend Vin Scully.

Jeff has never exactly been a fan favorite. The cop stache, attacking younger better players at every turn, being a former Giant, and generally being an asshole has caused Dodger fans to tolerate him when he's playing well (which he hasn't in years) but never embrace him.

Attacking Vin Scully is akin to attacking puppies or moms. Its just not done in polite society.


By Rich Funk

Being a Cubs fan, I haven't really ever had any interest in most teams here out west. But all of that has changed this season. Now that the Dodgers have clawed their way back into the NL West picture, I have to root for them.

Why the sudden change of heart? It's purely for selfish reasons.

If the Cubs win the NL Central, chances are that they'll have the best record in the NL. And since it looks like the Wild Card winner is also going to come out of the NL Central, the division winner will get to play either the East or West winner, whoever has the worst record.

So if everything goes according to plan, the Cubs will wind up playing the Dodgers in the NLCS. If that happens, for at least one game, the Cubs are coming to California, which gives me at least one more chance to see them.

So I'll root for the Dodgers to succeed, even though things between Manny and I aren't very good right now.

Does that also mean that I'll root for the Angels to make it to the World Series so the Cubs would have a chance to come back again if they were to make the Series as well? God no! A man has to have some kind of standards.

The Streak Is Over...

By ,

Brad Ziegler's scoreless streak ended today at 39 innings when he gave up a run in the top of the 9th during today's game against the Tampa Bay Rays. His ERA now stands at .22...That's still pretty damn good if you ask me.

So Ziegler, congrats on your awesome, record-breaking scoreless streak. May you continue to kick ass out of the bullpen...

In other news, the A's have won 4 games since the ASB, and unless my math is wrong, they've scored 3 or fewer runs in 19 of their 25 games since the break.

What? I should have another beer? Ok...


By Governor X

A lot of things have been going on lately, but as you can tell, no one has posted anything here. I can only assume my cohorts, like the rest of the world, are pretending to give a shit about women's 200 meter underwater archery in Beijing. Xiao Jan Tu got the silver? Boo!

I have no excuse other than laziness, so here is a comprehensive update from the world of Finley...

Nomar is back, AndrEw is gone

Nomar Garciaparra returned from the DL Tuesday night ending Angel Berroa's reign of terror, at least until this Saturday when he goes back on the DL after contracting foot and mouth disease. He went 0 for 3 last night.

To make room for Nomar, a flimsy excuse was created to send AndrEw Jones to the DL. Good riddance.

My soccer team is in shambles.

LA Galaxy coach Ruud Gullit quit and the team fired Alexi Lalas on Monday. Cobi Jones will coach the team for the rest of the year. What?

People expecting an MLS Cup this year seem to have forgotten just how bad they were last year. A healthy and old David Beckham alone was never going to put them over the top. This year under Gullit they were nothing if not exciting, scoring and allowing goals like there was no tomorrow.

Firing Lalas may be an odd move, but at least it shows ownership isn't willing to just sit on a bad team and rake in all that Beckham money.

The Spanish basketball team offends 1 billion Chinese people.

The People's Liberation Army is marching on Madrid as I type this.

Dodgers' Doctors Put Schmidt Down

By Governor X

The Dodgers' medical staff has concluded that like Barbaro here, Jason Schmidt is beyond repair and its time to send him off to the glue factory. Remember Jason Schmidt? Think WAY back and you may recall one of his 83 mph fastballs getting hit out of Chavez Ravine.

Schmidt looks like he is officially done for the year, but honestly, did you really expect him to ever pitch for the Dodgers again? With a three year deal worth $47 million, Schmidt has made a total of 6 starts for LA, but hasn't seen a big league field in over a year. If you're curious, that works out to $7.83 million per start.

Predictions, Bitches!

By Rich Funk

It's August, so time to make some crazy claims about the rest of the season out West. If I'm right about any of them, I'll rub it in everyone's faces. If I'm wrong, I can just delete the post. It's really win-win for me. And it's win-win for you, the reader because A) I'm awesome and B) you get to read the awesome stuff I'm writing. So if you and I are doing all this winning, who's losing? Why the Mariners, of course!

Prediction #1: Manny's Arrival Will Not Get The Dodgers Into The Playoffs

If you look at the Dodgers and Diamondbacks, they have basically the same team. Run differentials, home/road records, number of players that have dated Alyssa Milano...all pretty much the same. The D-Backs are looking for a spark from Max Scherzer coming back, while the Dodgers are hoping Brad Penny can make a return.

So you gotta look at the schedule. Starting Monday, August 11, the Dodgers have to host Philly (4 games), Milwaukee and Colorado, and then head up to Philly for 4 more against the Fightin's. I would not be surprised if the Dodgers went 4-11 over those 15 games. As soon as that's over, they get Arizona the next week. Seeing how the Diamondbacks are starting to hit at home again...watch out.

Besides, I'll take Harden and Webb over Lowe and Billingsley any day.

2. Texas will finish behind Oakland in the AL West.

Check out Texas' run differential. It's currently at -27, meaning that on the season, Texas has been outscored by their opponents by 27 runs. According to some math equation that I won't even pretend to understand, Texas should have a record of 54-59 right now, and the A's should be at 58-53. Throw int he fact that Oakland should play better now that the trade deadline is past, and Texas can expect to be in 3rd again this season.

3. The Padres Will Continue To Chase The Mariners For The Best Record In Baseball

Oh, by "best record", I really mean "worst record". It's opposite day. Wait...no it's not. Yes it is. Wait...

Peanut Butter Gio Time!!!!

By ,

Gio Gonzalez - one of the pitchers the A's got in the Nick Swisher trade - has been called up, and will start tomorrow against the Blue Jays.

Gio is 8-7 with an ERA of 4.24 in AAA (not the American Automobile Association) this year. And although those numbers aren't too stellar, he seems to be improving - in his last start, Gio went 8 innings, giving up 2 hits and no runs with 9 K's. Legit!

I'm really excited. The A's are really struggling right now, and it'll be nice to see one of the young guys pitch. The A's say they're in "rebuilding" mode, so let's see what "the future" can do.

Just don't expect much of any run support, Gio. At this point, I think myself, my neighbor's Labrador, and the homeless guy that hangs out by the gas station down the street could score more runs in a game than the A's offense right now.

Stop It

By Rich Funk

Knock it off right now. Seriously, just stop. You know who you are.

All those people in Orange County at their laptops and typewriters or whatever spewing forth this bile that K-Rod sould be the MVP? They can all die in a fire.



Stop it. Don't even think about it.

Seriously...stop it.

Looking On The Brightside...

By ,

"Dude, why am I terrible?"

When Daft Funk came home from Thunderfist 2008, I was bombarded with tales of stolen motorcycles, Butch Walker, and losing one's eyebrows in Vietnam. But although I tried to listen, there was something else on my mind - the Oakland Athletics are playing some lousy baseball. They have won 2 games since the All-Star Break. They have scored 2 runs or fewer in over half of their games since the break. Chavy is out for the season. And although our pitching has been alright (with the exception of a few bad outings...But you can't be perfect every time), you can't expect to win a ton of games if you can't score more than 2 runs. And what's going on with Huston Street? Argh...Why don't they just change their name to the Oakland Awfuletics?

Anyway, after we were swept by the Red Sox over the weekend, I decided that I had 2 choices - I can either develop an ulcer, or I can start looking on the bright side. I don't have the money to pay for medical treatment, so I chose the latter. This was supposed to be a re-building year. We were supposed to finish in the basement of the AL West (although thanks to Seattle, that prediction probably won't come true). I think I just got my hopes up because the A's had a surprisingly good first half. But now I'm beginning to get a picture of what the A's were supposed to play like, and it ain't pretty. But there are bright spots to focus on...

1. The bullpen: Brad Ziegler has yet to give up a run since he made his debut in the majors - he's had a 0.00 ERA for over 30 innings. Jerry Blevins has an ERA of 1.23. Joey Devine is back. Santiago Casilla seems to be returning to form - he hasn't given up a run in his last 6 appearances. Huston Street is well...um...nevermind. Let's move on...

2. The young guys. Ryan Sweeney has an average that hovers around .300. Kurt Suzuki has been hitting the ball well. Carlos Gonzalez is looking good in center field. Watching those guys gives me hope that the A's will develop into a good, young team over the next couple of years. Which leads me to one more bright spot for the A's...

3. The farm system. Ours seems to contain quite a bit of talent. Trevor Cahill, Brett Anderson, Gio, Aaron Cunningham, Adrian Cardenas. I am excited to see what these guys can do. Or maybe Beane can flip some of the prospects he got in his various trades for a stud hitter. (although I think I'd be peeved if he traded away Cahill, Anderson, or Cunningham). Either way, I think the future is looking pretty bright.

So although the A's currently cause me to drain 6-packs of Schlitz (what? I'm broke), I will keep watching games and focus on the good. Besides, anything is better than watching ESPN give minute-by-minute Brett Favre updates. Ugh.