Rich Harden Needs To Grow Some...

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Last week, I wrote a piece offering Travis Buck some advice that might help him bust out of his hitting slump. After I posted it, Buck hit over .400 in the Toronto series. I think he's only gotten like 2 hits since the Toronto series, but whatever...let's focus on the positive...

So now I've decided to offer my advice to Rich Harden. He's landed on the DL again, and this routine is really starting to get old. So after thinking long and hard* about what Mr. Harden can do to stay healthy on a regular basis, I have come up with a brilliant** suggestion:

Rich Harden, you need to grow some facial hair...

I know what you're thinking: "E-Claire, that suggestion is almost as ridiculous as your pastry-themed blog title!" But here's why it makes sense...

Let's take a look at some of Oakland's hairy pitchers...

Joe Blanton...

I can't remember him ever being on the DL, and he rocks facial hair....

Chad Gaudin...

Yes, he had offseason surgery, but he and his facial hair have recovered, and he's made a couple of starts. Were they great starts? No. But at least he's out there pitching, and as far as I know, he didn't leave either game with "stiffness," "soreness," "tightness," or any other mystery ailment.

Another A's pitcher with facial hair? Dan Haren...

Ok - so he was traded to the Diamondbacks, but last year, he and his facial hair had a great season...He started the All Star game for the AL, and was a Cy Young candidate for a good portion of the year! And he didn't get hurt!

Dana Eveland got the facial hair memo...He doesn't want to get hurt during his rookie season...


So there you go, Rich. If you want to bust out of your injury rut, try growing some facial hair. What do you have to lose?

* Actually, this idea was conceived during a commercial break while I was watching "Happy Gilmore." Somebody's closer!
** I am aware that this suggestion is not that brilliant.