Fat And Rats: The 2008 Angels Story

By Rich Funk

For a blog that prides itself on covering all the baseball here on the Left Coast, there really hasn't been much talk about the Angels. That's probably because the Angels are really quite blah. They don't have anything exciting about them. They don't have any giant super megastars, no young future Hall Of Famers. Heck, even their All-Star caliber players over the years (Vlad, Garret Anderson, Lackey) have been more of the "slow and steady" kind of superstars that you don't notice are really good until their career totals are there in front of you.

Aside from the fact that I live with an A's fan, I just can't get myself to really like any of the Angels players.

Chone Figgins? Learn to spell.

Howie Kendrick? How dare you take a foul ball away from Ben Affleck!

Jered Weaver? Punk.

Even their most interesting and exciting player (Torii Hunter), they had to bring in from another team.

So whenever I think of the Angels, all I'm going to think about is fat and rats. Remember in the offseason when they found a bunch of rat-related health code violations at Angels Stadium? Yeah, I'll never go there again. I don't care if Wrigley Field is falling apart...at least there aren't any vermin living there (now that Sosa's gone. ZING!).

And that brings us to the fat. Have you looked at Vlad Guerrero this year? Dude's looking more like Miguel Cabrera of 2007 then Miguel Cabrera of 2008 does.

Old skinny Vlad:


New Fat Vlad:


This guy has been carrying this Angles team for years with a GM who will never trade for any big bats to protect him. Before that, he spent his whole career in Montreal. If anyone deserves to just let himself go, it's Vladdy.