Lesbian Night at Safeco a Bust

By Governor X

When a team is struggling, they'll try damn near anything to put asses in the seats. At 21-39, even Ichiro isn't bringing in the crowds to see the Mariners anymore so they had to do something radical:

"Hot Lesbian Action Night"

Our google hits just went up 15,000%. The M's hoped their attendance would increase too, but it wasn't to be. As the team struggled on the field, a lesbian couple got things going only to have an usher ask them to stop. Apparently a fan complained, using the old "how do I explain two women kissing to my children?" line.

Of course the real question that fan should be asking is "How do I explain to my children that I'm a hateful homophobe insecure in my own sexuality?" but I don't want to get into a political lecture here. I may have to explain that to the children. God forbid.