106 to go: The Dodgers Make Me Emo

By Governor X

The Dodgers' trip to New York wasn't a fun one. Neither are their trips to the bathroom anymore. I won't say who, Scott Proctor, but someone keeps using other people's towels and now half the team is pissing razor blades. I have this from a reliable source.

I may have made that up. At least catching VD from Scott Proctor would explain their shitty play on the field. I certainly can't. Naturally, the old farts are blaming "the kids". The latest criticism came from Mark Sweeney. Yeah Mark, its clearly the kids' fault and not your veteran ass coming off the bench to hit 4 for 41. Asshole.

To rub salt in the wound, Saturday's game was called by Joe Fuck and Tim McCarver and Sunday's was ESPN's Joe Morgan special. Jon Miller, you do a good impersonation of Vin Scully, so you're OK by me. Get a fucking haircut though. You're like 80.

I can't even tell you what happened in the series. You know by now. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cut myself to Dashboard and comb my hair into my eyes.