Barry Zito Sucks at Life

By Governor X

Barry Zito has pretty much blown ass since signing that 7 year $100 bazillion dollar contract with the Giants before the 2007 season, but he's taking his sucktitude to new heights this spring:

"Barry Zito allowed a grand slam in the first inning Saturday, didn't throw a fastball harder than 84 mph, has a 14.92 ERA this spring and has faced 67 batters without recording a strikeout."

Barry isn't worried though. Honestly, if I had an 8 digit income and had a habit of banging models two at a time, I wouldn't worry either. The Giants should be though. They're stuck with Barry for a long time and its not likely that his fastball is going to speed up again.

It doesn't get any better for the Giants either. Noah Lowry, who was giving Zito a run for his money in sucking this spring, is now out until late April with "exertional compartment syndrome". What the hell is that you ask? I don't know, and the Giants training staff has found no record of any pitcher ever being treated for it in the past.

Pour yourself another glass of wine Mr. McGowan, its going to be a long season in San Francisco.