An Open Letter to the Diamondbacks

By Governor X

Dear Diamondbacks,

Please go on a tear and win this shitty division already.

The Dodgers, for all intents and purposes, are dead, but you have thus far been unable to pull away and end our pathetic chances at a playoff berth. Every win here and there teases us with hope as we inch within a game or two of you for the division lead.

Deep down, I know better. This particular group of Dodgers players (I can't call them a "team") are not going anywhere, but when I look at the standings and see them a game or two back, my irrational fan side takes over and I have brief visions of Manny hitting homers for them in October.

This won't happen though. The Dodgers of 2008 are destined for mediocrity. If you don't shape up, we risk Colorado going on another winning streak and none of us want to see that again. We all remember how they embarassed the National League in the World Series last year.

So, I beg of you, just win 5 or 6 in a row and effectively put the Dodgers out of their misery. A sweep this weekend would be a good start.

Governor Gray Davis