Predictions, Bitches!

By Rich Funk

It's August, so time to make some crazy claims about the rest of the season out West. If I'm right about any of them, I'll rub it in everyone's faces. If I'm wrong, I can just delete the post. It's really win-win for me. And it's win-win for you, the reader because A) I'm awesome and B) you get to read the awesome stuff I'm writing. So if you and I are doing all this winning, who's losing? Why the Mariners, of course!

Prediction #1: Manny's Arrival Will Not Get The Dodgers Into The Playoffs

If you look at the Dodgers and Diamondbacks, they have basically the same team. Run differentials, home/road records, number of players that have dated Alyssa Milano...all pretty much the same. The D-Backs are looking for a spark from Max Scherzer coming back, while the Dodgers are hoping Brad Penny can make a return.

So you gotta look at the schedule. Starting Monday, August 11, the Dodgers have to host Philly (4 games), Milwaukee and Colorado, and then head up to Philly for 4 more against the Fightin's. I would not be surprised if the Dodgers went 4-11 over those 15 games. As soon as that's over, they get Arizona the next week. Seeing how the Diamondbacks are starting to hit at home again...watch out.

Besides, I'll take Harden and Webb over Lowe and Billingsley any day.


2. Texas will finish behind Oakland in the AL West.

Check out Texas' run differential. It's currently at -27, meaning that on the season, Texas has been outscored by their opponents by 27 runs. According to some math equation that I won't even pretend to understand, Texas should have a record of 54-59 right now, and the A's should be at 58-53. Throw int he fact that Oakland should play better now that the trade deadline is past, and Texas can expect to be in 3rd again this season.


3. The Padres Will Continue To Chase The Mariners For The Best Record In Baseball

Oh, by "best record", I really mean "worst record". It's opposite day. Wait...no it's not. Yes it is. Wait...