Stop It
All those people in Orange County at their laptops and typewriters or whatever spewing forth this bile that K-Rod sould be the MVP? They can all die in a fire.
No.
No.
Stop it. Don't even think about it.
Seriously...stop it.
All those people in Orange County at their laptops and typewriters or whatever spewing forth this bile that K-Rod sould be the MVP? They can all die in a fire.
No.
No.
Stop it. Don't even think about it.
Seriously...stop it.
Steve Finley Was Here Fail Of The Week
Each week, we here at SFWH are going to single out one turd sandwich from here on the west coast and bestow upon them the honor of being the Steve Finley Was Here "Fail Of The Week"!
Say what you want, but any time you hold the other team to 0 hits and you still find a way to lose, that is what the internet kids call an EPIC FAIL!
81 to Go: Who Needs Hits?
Next stop...Houston. The Dodgers are goin' huntin'.
The Crying Game
I've just learned that some Angels fans have given Maicer Izturis the nickname "Crying Game" because he looks like the guy from that movie. This is the first bit of remotely interesting news I've heard about the Angels since the rat infestation was exposed.
All-Stars In The Outfield...
So rumor has it that Angel Stadium, home of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Orange County just off the 5 freeway, will host the 2010 All-Star Game.
And to commemorate the event, every fan in attendance will get a limited edition pet rat!
Zing!
I'll leave you with this fun fact about "Angels In The Outfield:" According to IMDB, the movie was actually filmed at Oakland Coliseum. They say it's because the then-Los Angeles Rams were using the stadium in Anaheim (and this was before the Raiders came back to Oakland), but I say it's because even movie crews know that Oakland is better than Anaheim.
Fat And Rats: The 2008 Angels Story
For a blog that prides itself on covering all the baseball here on the Left Coast, there really hasn't been much talk about the Angels. That's probably because the Angels are really quite blah. They don't have anything exciting about them. They don't have any giant super megastars, no young future Hall Of Famers. Heck, even their All-Star caliber players over the years (Vlad, Garret Anderson, Lackey) have been more of the "slow and steady" kind of superstars that you don't notice are really good until their career totals are there in front of you.
Aside from the fact that I live with an A's fan, I just can't get myself to really like any of the Angels players.
Chone Figgins? Learn to spell.
Howie Kendrick? How dare you take a foul ball away from Ben Affleck!
Jered Weaver? Punk.
Even their most interesting and exciting player (Torii Hunter), they had to bring in from another team.
So whenever I think of the Angels, all I'm going to think about is fat and rats. Remember in the offseason when they found a bunch of rat-related health code violations at Angels Stadium? Yeah, I'll never go there again. I don't care if Wrigley Field is falling apart...at least there aren't any vermin living there (now that Sosa's gone. ZING!).
And that brings us to the fat. Have you looked at Vlad Guerrero this year? Dude's looking more like Miguel Cabrera of 2007 then Miguel Cabrera of 2008 does.
Old skinny Vlad:
New Fat Vlad:
This guy has been carrying this Angles team for years with a GM who will never trade for any big bats to protect him. Before that, he spent his whole career in Montreal. If anyone deserves to just let himself go, it's Vladdy.
SFWH Season Preview: Anaheim Angels
Continuing the tradition we started...yesterday, we here at SFWH are bringing you more hard hitting analysis of your favorite West Coast baseball teams. Today we bring you the Anaheim Angels, or as The Governor calls them from time to time, "Those rat bastards down the 5". Today's review is brought to you by our very own Brant Brown, and the letters "F" and "U".
LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM by Brant Brown
2007: 94-68 (1st)
So Long: SS Orlando Cabrera, P Bartolo Colon, 3B Dallas McPherson
Welcome: P Jon Garland, OF Torii Hunter
PROJECTED LINEUP
1. Chone Figgins 3B
2. Gary Matthews RF
3. Vladimir Guerrero DH
4. Torii Hunter CF
5. Garret Anderson LF
6. Howie Kendrick 2B
7. Casey Kotchman 1B
8. Mike Napoli C
9. Erick Aybar SS
Starting Rotation - John Lackey, Kelvim Escobar, Jered Weaver, Jon Garland, Joe Saunders, Ervin Santana
Setup - Justin Speier, Scot Shields
Closer - Francisco Rodriguez
While the prospects for the season, particularly considering the state of the division, are good, there is mild discontent in Angel camp. Vlad, Hunter, Anderson, and Sarge, Jr. all want to play the field, but someone is going to have to DH. The likely pick will be Anderson for most games, as Matthews and Hunter have the defensive tools. If Vlad wants to play in the field, Scioscia will have to allow him, with the occasional spell for all involved. You have to make Vlad happy. Sure, Anderson has been with the club since the Donnie Moore incident, but he's a shell of the player who won the home run derby in 2003.
Bartolo Colon's bloated carcass is finally gone. If Hideki Irabu was the Japanese fat toad, Colon was the Mexican version. Or is he Dominican? Venezuelan? They all look the same. He's replaced by Jon Garland. Ugh, Jon Garland. Fortunately for all of the Angel fans that love whining ever so much, the club has retained Ervin Santana's services. Perhaps this year Scioscia will decide to only start Santana in home games. Seriously, look at his home and away splits. The Halos will also be throwing out the two-headed catching monster of Mike Napoli and Jeff Mathis. When is the last time a club that split catching duties made it to the World Series? Was it pre or post Great War? While Erick Aybar looks at a substantial chunk of playing time, it appears that perennial phenom Brandon Wood will once again wallow on the bench or in AAA, further deteriorating any trade value he has. At least Bill Stoneman is finally out the door as GM.
PRESEASON AWARDS
Mr. Sexy Time: OF Torii Hunter - He has a lot to live up to, but he's totally qualified. The Angels have needed an extra bat for years. He may not be the slugger everyone has envisioned, but he's as solid of a package as Angel fans could have hoped for. The stellar defense and baserunning will make up for a few less homers that a Jason Giambi would have given you.
The Elijah Price (Mr. Glass) Award: 2B Howie Kendrick - Howie Kendrick. For the love of all that is holy, let this kid play a season without a fluke injury. I swear he will hit if his fingers remain unbroken.
The John Wooden "Yep, I'm Still Alive" Award: P Darren Oliver - Still gainfully employed, at 37 ripe years of age. He's just one of those guys that lingers, like a pedophile at a playground. He also probably belongs in the Reggie Cleveland Hall of Fame.
FOR MORE READING
Halos Heaven
Big 'A' Baseball
Juan Gone?
It seems as if someone finally put smelling salts under the noses of Dodgers officials. In this piece by Tony Jackson, there are rumblings that the Dodgers may have come to the dramatic realization that Juan Pierre does not deserve a starting role. While they may be handcuffed by his 5 year, $44 million contract (ladies and gentlemen: Ned Colletti) his frustratingly streaky offense and inept defense in no way justify consistent playing time. The alternative options of young and vigorous stallions Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier (no, not this Andre Ethier), are having fantastic springs. Does Pierre have any value on the bench? Unquestionably, no. The only situation in which it might be logical to bring Pierre in to pinch hit is if the Dodgers are down by a run or two and the pitcher's spot is leading off the inning. The man can't even be brought in as a defensive replacement. He cannot be counted on to provide a clutch hit in the late innings. The only reason his average ends up around .300 at the end of the season is because he never walks and ends up with nearly 700 ABs. Can you simply cut Pierre? No. Can you trade him? Not for much more than a low grade prospect. It's a dismal situation, and hopefully the Dodgers have the good sense to sit him in favor of a daily dose of Kemp and Ethier.
Angels
Well, the Angels gave up on the Bartolo Colon fat toad project. Now he moves over to the Red Sox, where reports say that he's throwing well. Granted, he'll probably only end up as a 5th starter or long reliever for the Sox, but don't you think the Angels wish they had him back? John Lackey is now out for what appears to be four weeks with a strained triceps. Prospect Nick Adenhart will get a shot at the rotation, but with the perennially unreliable health of Kelvim Escobar, and the sketchy effectiveness of Ervin Santana, the Angels rotation could quickly succumb to dire straits.
China
Last but not least, as a scant few of you may know, the Padres and Dodgers played a couple exhibition games in Beijing over the weekend, prompting a spat of "cultural genocide" after their first game ended in a 3-3 tie. That's West Coast baseball at it's finest.
Lost
What I mean is, I'm kind of out of my element. I spent the first 23 years of life living in the midwest, and moved across the country to California in 2006. Now I'm stuck in a state where the Cubs only visit twice a year and I don't know any of the teams that I'm surrounded by. Think of me as Will Smith and the West Coast baseball teams as his wealthy family in Bel-Air. It's just going to take some time for me to get to know them.
And because I can't resist, if the West Coast teams were cast members of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, here's who they would be:
Oakland A's: Carlton Banks - With the A's, and Carlton, it's all about the numbers. Trigonometry, OBP, walk rates, stock market figures, Moneyball...everything is broken down into numbers and dissected intelligently.
LA Angels: Hilary Banks - Will you just please leave already? Every time I see you, you just annoy me!
LA Dodgers: Geoffrey - Classy and dignified, with a lot of tradition. However, aside from stepping up from time to time, never really able to become a focal point instead of a supporting role.
San Diego Padres: Jazz - Laid back and always coming up with crazy ideas ("Let's build a stadium that has an old factory sticking into it!"). Much like the Padres, Jazz was inconsistent and wandered in and out of our memory without any real lasting impression.
SF Giants: Vivian Banks (The First One) - The Giants transition from 2007-2008 is much like the transition between Aunt Vivian's in the show. The old, aging way of the past wasn't working, so the media nuisance was sent packing and replaced with a younger, friendlier version.
Seattle Mariners: Any of Will's Family - Remember when Will's family or friends from Philly would just randomly show up for an episode or two, and you'd remember "Oh yeah, Will has family. I forgot about them." Those episodes were boring and sucked for the most part. That's how the Mariners are. Aside from when they make the news (Erik Bedard trade, overpaying Sexson and Beltre), you pretty much forget that they exist at all.
But I've decided to make the most of my situation. My top priority will always be the Cubs, but I'm going to eventually settle on a team out here in the West to have at least a passing interest in. This process will last for several weeks I imagine and will take all things into account, including coolness of stadium, fans, players, food served at games, etc. So keep checking back for that, and everything else that will be popping up on this site.
Now if you'll excuse me, Uncle Phil is out of town with Aunt Viv on a business trip and I'm going to let Bell Biv Devoe film a music video in the living room.