Lost

By Rich Funk



With a title like 'Lost', one may think that I'm only trying to drive traffic to our page by coming up in searches for a certain TV show about people stuck on an island. But that's not the case. Besides, I was never a fan of Gilligan or his crazy buddies.

What I mean is, I'm kind of out of my element. I spent the first 23 years of life living in the midwest, and moved across the country to California in 2006. Now I'm stuck in a state where the Cubs only visit twice a year and I don't know any of the teams that I'm surrounded by. Think of me as Will Smith and the West Coast baseball teams as his wealthy family in Bel-Air. It's just going to take some time for me to get to know them.

And because I can't resist, if the West Coast teams were cast members of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, here's who they would be:


Oakland A's: Carlton Banks - With the A's, and Carlton, it's all about the numbers. Trigonometry, OBP, walk rates, stock market figures, Moneyball...everything is broken down into numbers and dissected intelligently.
LA Angels: Hilary Banks - Will you just please leave already? Every time I see you, you just annoy me!
LA Dodgers: Geoffrey - Classy and dignified, with a lot of tradition. However, aside from stepping up from time to time, never really able to become a focal point instead of a supporting role.
San Diego Padres: Jazz - Laid back and always coming up with crazy ideas ("Let's build a stadium that has an old factory sticking into it!"). Much like the Padres, Jazz was inconsistent and wandered in and out of our memory without any real lasting impression.
SF Giants: Vivian Banks (The First One) - The Giants transition from 2007-2008 is much like the transition between Aunt Vivian's in the show. The old, aging way of the past wasn't working, so the media nuisance was sent packing and replaced with a younger, friendlier version.
Seattle Mariners: Any of Will's Family - Remember when Will's family or friends from Philly would just randomly show up for an episode or two, and you'd remember "Oh yeah, Will has family. I forgot about them." Those episodes were boring and sucked for the most part. That's how the Mariners are. Aside from when they make the news (Erik Bedard trade, overpaying Sexson and Beltre), you pretty much forget that they exist at all.

But I've decided to make the most of my situation. My top priority will always be the Cubs, but I'm going to eventually settle on a team out here in the West to have at least a passing interest in. This process will last for several weeks I imagine and will take all things into account, including coolness of stadium, fans, players, food served at games, etc. So keep checking back for that, and everything else that will be popping up on this site.

Now if you'll excuse me, Uncle Phil is out of town with Aunt Viv on a business trip and I'm going to let Bell Biv Devoe film a music video in the living room.